Tough Times

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Hello All....,
My name is Jerriell & I have been living with cluster headaches for about 14 years now. I am a 39 y/o BM. These things seem to be getting worse. They usually start up around Oct-Nov and last until late Feb. or early March and then I may go 6-8 months without one. It seems they have gone from episodic to chronic. This bout started up the 2nd week of Dec(2019) and we're mid-Sept 2020 & they're still full speed ahead. I did have a 17 day break from 2/29/20-3/17/20, at that time they came back on the opposite side. They usually alternate after their "remission" period. I've tried Emgality, Trokendi, Sprix nasal spray, Depakote, Nurtec and a host of others that I don't even remember. Nothing works and in fact the Depakote & Sprix made them worse. I have had oxygen in the past & it works wonders but I can't afford a new tank every 2 weeks and sometimes every week. I once had 38 in a 7 day period in May of this year. I just wanteed to put my story out there & I continue to seek help/relief. These things aren't called "suicide headaches" for no reason. I have had MANY THOUGHTS because of the pain. You really just run out of ways to describe this pain. For everyone out there who suffers from cluster headaches, the world truly doesn't understand what we're dealing with. Trying to keep my jib is very hard & frustrating because I am good at what I do. But at the same time, I am a step slower because of this round of clusters.........STAY STRONG!!!